10 Tips to Boost Your Mental Health
Psychotherapist Lara Harris on Adapting to the New Normal
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month we asked Los Angeles psychotherapist Lara Harris for tips on navigating our new post-coronavirus lives. And if she looks familiar, there's a reason—she's a former actress (The Fisher King) and model (currently with IconicFocus), whose days are now filled with teletherapy sessions with her clients. Read her essential tips and, for further at-home counseling, get in touch with Harris here.
“During this time, we are living in unprecedented circumstances. We are living with prolonged uncertainty about so many things, which can lead to stress and anxiety. There is grief for the things we know we’ve already lost, both big (the loss of one’s health or job), and small (something to look forward to: a college graduation, home renovation, travel plans, etc). There is also anticipatory grief for the unknown, what lies on the other side of this moment, how life as we’ve known it will change for us, both individually and collectively.
“In my private practice as a psychotherapist, I work with individuals, couples and families. I’ve continued my work during the stay at home period using teletherapy. I hear on a daily basis how people are coping and what their struggles are, whether they are isolated and alone in an apartment, struggling in their couple and now dealing with a new layer of difficulty, or in a family navigating children attending school at home.
“It is important to recognize all of these things may be impacting our mental health and wellbeing during this time. Here are some tips that I have found helpful for the people I work with as well as my own family.” — Lara Harris
Top 10 Tips
1. Create Structure
We’re not just working from home (WFH), we’re working WITH home—that means, all of our relationships and activities are happening in the same place. Our whole world is in one space. Old boundaries are dissolving and new boundaries have to be established. I’m living with my husband and two adult children, and one way we have been successful with this collapsing of boundaries is to create specific kitchen hours: time frames when we can all use the kitchen, for example, so that we sync our schedules up a little bit more than we do usually, creating more harmony in the household.
We’re not just working from home (WFH), we’re working WITH home—that means, all of our relationships and activities are happening in the same place. Our whole world is in one space. Old boundaries are dissolving and new boundaries have to be established. I’m living with my husband and two adult children, and one way we have been successful with this collapsing of boundaries is to create specific kitchen hours: time frames when we can all use the kitchen, for example, so that we sync our schedules up a little bit more than we do usually, creating more harmony in the household.
2. Drop Anchors
By this, I mean choose a thing or two that are non-negotiables for you to feel good about yourself and your day. This can be as simple as a 20-minute walk, making your bed, or a shower before noon—whatever helps you feel like you are managing better will result in actually helping you manage better.
By this, I mean choose a thing or two that are non-negotiables for you to feel good about yourself and your day. This can be as simple as a 20-minute walk, making your bed, or a shower before noon—whatever helps you feel like you are managing better will result in actually helping you manage better.
3. Check Your News & Social Media Consumption
Because of the 24-hour news cycle, there is so much information we are constantly being bombarded with. The effect of this works almost like an addiction: The more information we get, the more information we want. It can be hard for people to stem their thirst, seeking out more news outlets and social media interactions. Twitter fights probably aren’t helpful at this time! I give myself an hour in the morning to read the news and check my email and then I review again at the end of the workday.
Because of the 24-hour news cycle, there is so much information we are constantly being bombarded with. The effect of this works almost like an addiction: The more information we get, the more information we want. It can be hard for people to stem their thirst, seeking out more news outlets and social media interactions. Twitter fights probably aren’t helpful at this time! I give myself an hour in the morning to read the news and check my email and then I review again at the end of the workday.
4. Make Choices That Are Nourishing, for Your Mind & Body
Nourishing choices are ones that make you feel better and stronger. These could include choosing reliable news sources, rather than sensationalistic ones (I like David Sinclair and Peter Attia for deciphering medical research), eating healthy foods, talking with friends who don’t scare you, moving your body, and choosing to binge-watch TV that offers at least a glimmer of hope. That is not to say that an occasional treat or guilty pleasure isn’t helpful, too, but everything in moderation. During this time, we need to be fortified.
Nourishing choices are ones that make you feel better and stronger. These could include choosing reliable news sources, rather than sensationalistic ones (I like David Sinclair and Peter Attia for deciphering medical research), eating healthy foods, talking with friends who don’t scare you, moving your body, and choosing to binge-watch TV that offers at least a glimmer of hope. That is not to say that an occasional treat or guilty pleasure isn’t helpful, too, but everything in moderation. During this time, we need to be fortified.
5. Avoid Making Big Life Choices That Do Not Need to Be Made
I work with couples who are struggling and divorce may be on the table. Now is not the time to decide to divorce, and, even if you do, nothing can be done about it right now anyway. When we say, “We’re all in this together,” that applies to your spouse, too! You are in it together, at least for the moment, so try to make the best of it. Try to make your spouse, and all your family members, your best friends during this time. Look at your differences as ways in which you are complementary. If you are more anxious about washing your hands than your husband, for example, you could choose to see his relaxed approach as something that offsets your worry, and offers a different perspective; planning and spontaneity: structure and going with the flow, both/and.
I work with couples who are struggling and divorce may be on the table. Now is not the time to decide to divorce, and, even if you do, nothing can be done about it right now anyway. When we say, “We’re all in this together,” that applies to your spouse, too! You are in it together, at least for the moment, so try to make the best of it. Try to make your spouse, and all your family members, your best friends during this time. Look at your differences as ways in which you are complementary. If you are more anxious about washing your hands than your husband, for example, you could choose to see his relaxed approach as something that offsets your worry, and offers a different perspective; planning and spontaneity: structure and going with the flow, both/and.
“You may have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress. There is also Post-Traumatic Growth: looking for the benefits that can be derived from this moment will increase your resiliency.”
6. Look for the Silver Linings
I work with people who have reported positive developments during this time: enhanced closeness with their partners and loved ones; reevaluation of their career paths; increased self-reflection—new ways of looking for and finding meaning; more time to do things around the home that always seem to get overlooked; better sleep; getting to know their neighbors. You may have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress. There is also Post-Traumatic Growth: looking for the benefits that can be derived from this moment will increase your resiliency. One of the biggest silver linings I am reminded of every day is that we have unprecedented technology available to help us order food, maintain relationships, and for many of us, to keep on working.
I work with people who have reported positive developments during this time: enhanced closeness with their partners and loved ones; reevaluation of their career paths; increased self-reflection—new ways of looking for and finding meaning; more time to do things around the home that always seem to get overlooked; better sleep; getting to know their neighbors. You may have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress. There is also Post-Traumatic Growth: looking for the benefits that can be derived from this moment will increase your resiliency. One of the biggest silver linings I am reminded of every day is that we have unprecedented technology available to help us order food, maintain relationships, and for many of us, to keep on working.
7. Be Kind to Yourself
Don’t expect to come out of this period having written the great American novel, fluent in a new language, and having practiced meditation and yoga every day. If you’re able to make the most of this time, great, but I think most people are trying to just get by, as best as they can. If you gain a few pounds, you will lose them. If you don’t attend all those free classes at Harvard, maybe there was something more important you needed to be doing for yourself and your loved ones at this time. Maybe you will be able to do something brag-worthy, but just being able to fulfill your basic responsibilities to yourself, your loved ones and your professional life is enough of an accomplishment right now. Again, the internet may not always be your friend: Reading about how other people are using their time draws out comparison and isn’t actually helpful (unless you find it inspiring).
Don’t expect to come out of this period having written the great American novel, fluent in a new language, and having practiced meditation and yoga every day. If you’re able to make the most of this time, great, but I think most people are trying to just get by, as best as they can. If you gain a few pounds, you will lose them. If you don’t attend all those free classes at Harvard, maybe there was something more important you needed to be doing for yourself and your loved ones at this time. Maybe you will be able to do something brag-worthy, but just being able to fulfill your basic responsibilities to yourself, your loved ones and your professional life is enough of an accomplishment right now. Again, the internet may not always be your friend: Reading about how other people are using their time draws out comparison and isn’t actually helpful (unless you find it inspiring).
8. Regulate Yourself
During this moment of prolonged uncertainty, it is so easy for your mental well-being to be hijacked by fear and anxiety. It is important to pay attention to what is happening in your mind and body to try to catch yourself before things get out of control. If you sense that you are flailing, here are some things that can help: Take a walk, take a bath, call a friend, meditate. Do something, anything, that engages you and shifts your energy, be it physical, mental, spiritual or emotional.
During this moment of prolonged uncertainty, it is so easy for your mental well-being to be hijacked by fear and anxiety. It is important to pay attention to what is happening in your mind and body to try to catch yourself before things get out of control. If you sense that you are flailing, here are some things that can help: Take a walk, take a bath, call a friend, meditate. Do something, anything, that engages you and shifts your energy, be it physical, mental, spiritual or emotional.
9. Practice Tragic Optimism/Remind Yourself You Have Agency
Also known as the Victor Frankel tip. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
Also known as the Victor Frankel tip. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
10. Allow Yourself Some Pleasure Every Day
There are so many ways to think about this: My mother makes herself a cup of tea and adds a spoonful of whipped cream; I am working my way through Charles North’s new book, Everything and Other Poems. It is for your pleasure, so choose accordingly.
There are so many ways to think about this: My mother makes herself a cup of tea and adds a spoonful of whipped cream; I am working my way through Charles North’s new book, Everything and Other Poems. It is for your pleasure, so choose accordingly.
